If all the “happiness” of the holidays leaves you feeling like the Grinch, you’re not alone.
“The holiday season can be about festivities and fun and spending time with people we care about, but there’s also often a lot of stress,” said Michelle Fenesy, associate director of the University of Oregon Psychology Clinic. “Fitting in extra obligations can be demanding, especially if you also plan to work during the holidays.”
Faculty and staff may feel overwhelmed by family and social activities and other seasonal expectations. The “holiday blues” can also leave one feeling down due to less sunlight, changes in routine and the tendency for emotions to feel more intense at this time of year.
The clinic is here to help the UO workforce glide gracefully through the holidays with six simple tips — all based in cognitive behavioral therapy and supported by science. If you would benefit from additional support, call the clinic at 541-346-4954 or email uoclinic@therapysecure.com to explore services that would start in the new year.
1. Two words: cope ahead.
Strategize how you’re going to handle situations sure to stress you out.
If you’re working at a time when others are celebrating, how will you manage those feelings? Maybe line up a favorite movie for your downtime. Or say a certain in-law is going to be at the party and getting under your skin — maybe plan a five-minute walk away from the action?
“In those moments of high emotions, it can be really difficult to support yourself,” Fenesy said. “If you have a ‘cope ahead’ strategy, you’ll better manage those negative feelings.”
2. Step up self-care.
Exercise promotes emotional health year-round and can be especially valuable for managing stress during the holidays, Fenesy said.
Even five minutes is enough time for self-care, she added — consider a simple breathing routine if you’re stuck in a massive line at the supermarket. Or redirect those bothersome thoughts by concentrating on the five senses: what can you hear, smell, see, touch or taste in your immediate environment?
“When we can slow down our breathing, it activates the parasympathetic part of the nervous system,” Fenesy said. “That’s the system that promotes behaviors such as rest. It helps us calm down our bodies and our minds.”
3. Rock your routine.
There will be disruptions, but try to stick to regular sleeping, eating and recreational schedules as much as possible.
“If you’re a faculty member or staff member working from home or not engaging with work in the same way you usually do, it’s helpful to keep a bit of routine,” Fenesy said — “a brief walk or blocking out a couple hours to relax or exercise.”
4. Let go of (great) expectations.
Employees with fewer day-to-day demands during the holidays may have designs on completing that big project. Alternatively, those with more down time may have high hopes for packing in tons of fun with family and friends.
Both mindsets can be problematic, Fenesy said, due to the unpredictability of the season. Better to set realistic expectations, focus on one or two priorities for work or play, she added, and “give yourself grace” if the holidays don’t go exactly as you’d hoped.
5. Honor your emotions.
It’s not healthy to bottle up those negative feelings.
“You need to allow for those emotions to be there,” Fenesy said. “If you’re dealing with feelings of sadness or anxiety, it’s OK to acknowledge that — ‘Yeah, I’m feeling down.’ Just naming that can be really powerful to help manage that emotion.”
6. Find your friends.
Don’t be afraid to reach out.
Friends can be a great support network, both emotionally and practically — maybe they can help with that lengthy holiday to-do list or at least lend a sympathetic ear.
The clinic is also available, with a flexible approach to counseling tailored to kids, teens or adults, Fenesy said. Call the clinic at 541-346-4954 or email uoclinic@therapysecure.com for more information.
“We address a variety of concerns — sleep difficulty, stress and anxiety, relationship difficulties, depression and more,” Fenesy said. “We customize treatment to the individual with an evidence-based approach that research has shown to be very effective.”
—Matt Cooper, University Communications